By Noyonikaa Gupta
I lie awake at night, thinking about the women in my lineage. There has to be someone who looks just like me. Does she also ask her mother to braid her hair? Or does she let the dark waves loose and free to move as they please? Does she smear haldi on her face regularly in the name of preserving her appearance and youthful glow? Or is that reserved for the day she marries her lover? Does she scorn at herself when she sees her reflection in the water, or is the way she looks inconsequential to her? I wonder if we would recognize each other. Yes, you are me and I am you. The doe like eyes and full cheeks persist through generations. Would she cringe at the way I lie shamelessly in the sun, allowing its rays to kiss every inch of my bare skin? Or would she be envious at the confidence with which I don my bare brown shoulders? Would she cower in fear at the way I move my body in the presence of men and strangers, truly dancing like no one is watching and letting only the music tell me when to stop? Or does she stand a little bit taller with the realization that her body is hers. Would she be curious about the way I share the secrets of my heart with my closest companions? Or would she smile knowing that the joy of womanhood and friendship transcends time and space? I want to know if she would scorn at the way I raise my voice and disobey, or would she be relieved? Finally, the things I want to say are being said! I feel that this is why I always want to be adorned with gold jewelry - not the kind that sparkles up close, but the kind that demands to be seen. The kind that has weight and reminds you of the people you belong to. The kind that is delicately passed down from mother to daughter in the name of social security, safety, and love. Although we are separated by an ocean and a landmass and countless political regimes, maybe it is through these jewels and gold chains that I can save them a seat at every table I am invited to. Maybe then we will realize that, even beyond the same dark wavy hair and skincare rituals, we are the same; I am her and she is me.
About the Author: Noyonikaa Gupta is a 1st year medical student with a passion for writing and health journalism. In their words: “I hope to be a primary care physician one day with writing, reporting, and traveling at the core of my personal and professional lives.”